My Two Cents

I know I'm a little late chiming in on the "shocking" death of Robin Williams, but here's my two cents anyway.

Image Credit: www.break.com

It's not a surprise to me that someone's suicide is a surprise to others. "There were no signs." "He was great." "Everything seemed normal." Etc. People who deal with chronic depression are REALLY good at covering the signs of trouble everyone is watching for. Trust me, I know. It's our way of life. 

When you aren't worried is probably when you should be most worried. 

Some may think covering stems from low self-esteem and not wanting to bother others with our burden. I guess that could be part of it but in my experience, it's mostly that I don't want to talk about it. When the black hole is taking over my existence, I cover because it's personal. It's mine. And I don't want to talk about it. You can't do anything, there's nothing you can say to fix me so what's the point? If all your rationalizing could actually make a difference, then wouldn't all my rational thoughts have already won? I do still have rational thoughts. I know what makes sense logically. I know life isn't bad. I know all the wonderful people and things I have. I know there are much bigger struggles in the world. I know. 

But I can't feel it. I can only feel the force that is like a living, breathing beast that is taking up residence inside.  There's nothing you can say or that I can think to control it.

People give all this wonderful advice on how to help someone with depression...what to watch for...dos & don'ts.... Unfortunately it's all kind of pointless because it's pretty impossible to help if you don't understand and it's pretty impossible to understand unless you've been there. Even those of us who always have the beast lurking in the shadows don't have the right thing to say or the magic answer. The only advantage is that we can relate to the feeling of helplessness, but we all process it differently. 

I absolutely hate trying to go to a doctor about depression. I seem fine, perfectly normal. What do I have to be depressed about? They never understand and the "let's try this pill on for size" treatment sucks. I'd rather just fight on my own than continue endless rounds trying out the drug du jour. It's a constant battle; I want to fully live my life, not just this uninvested half-life, but I don't want to take a pill every day to feel normal or go to therapy and talk about my stupid feelings. Luckily for me, my loved ones watch for changes. Even if they don't know exactly what's up, they know when something is different and call me on it. This helps rational and logical me keep the beast in check and I grudgingly go get medicated. Since the real me does actually want to stick around this crazy life for a while, sometimes I have to just suck it up and accept help. 

If the beast inside a depressed person fully takes over and suicide is honestly the goal, it is highly unlikely anyone will know. That's the point. The person suffering can truly only see one resolution to make it all stop, and he will not want anyone to keep him from peace. There probably won't be any signs. If there are, they will be so minuscule that you really can't blame yourself for missing them. A half-assed suicide attempt is actually kind of a good thing. The attempter knows the darkness is taking over but doesn't want to give in. When there are obvious signs that means he really wants help but doesn't know how to ask. This is where doctors, meds, and therapy can revive someone's ability to fight. 

It's very sad that Robin Williams couldn't see any other way out, but I get it. It's an unfortunate reminder that we don't know what internal battles people are facing. 

Image Credit: ipost.christianpost.com

Kindness is a blessing each of us is capable of bestowing upon each other. It may take a little effort, but it's worth it. You never know when your kindness may be what reignites the spark of light that can guide someone out of their unfathomable darkness. Of all the little nuggets of wisdom out there on how to help someone with depression, I think the golden rule still triumphs. No, treating others kindly will not cure anyone but it generates hope, positivity, and love. Who doesn't need a little more of those in their life? 

Depression isn't a state of mind, it's a state of being. But it doesn't always win. 

XOXO

~M

The Very Real Emotions of Fiction

Hey y'all! It's been a minute since I've added a new post to the ole bloggity blog. I certainly haven't been too busy to write, just too lazy.

Right now I'm in a state of emotional turmoil and need an outlet. Don't worry, nothing IRL is causing the disturbance. It's a book. Well, actually, a series of books. I'm all up in that YA Fantasy life (or paranormal thriller? Whatever.) and I. CAN'T. EVEN.

Issue number one is a total #FirstWorldProblem. It's a 10 book series and the first 3 were free Kindle downloads. It's crack, I'm telling you. "Here, have a little taste... It's free... Reading is good..." Then BLAM. "Oh, you want more? That's gonna cost ya, little lady." Okay, so it's only 5 bucks for each book. But, still! So anyway, now I'm hooked on crack and I just had a really bad trip. I think I may be mixing drug references, but you get the point. 

Image Credit: someecards.com

Issue number two is something super major just happened at the end of book 5 and I'm just not emotionally ready to move on yet. I won't give any details in case anyone else reads the series. Then you can sit in the dark and cry when you get to this point, too. So, if you want to have your heart ripped out (kind of just kidding because so far the story is pretty amazing but kind of not kidding because I literally did cry), you should totally read The Girl in the Box by Robert J Crane. 

Now that I've been able to express a little of my teenage angst, I think I'm ready to dive back in. 

Here's a link to the book list. Books 1-3 are free on all ebook formats if you want to join me down the rabbit hole!

http://www.goodreads.com/series/86739-the-girl-in-the-box

http://www.robertjcrane.com/?m=1

Happy reading fellow bookworms!

XOXO

~M

Bitch Switch

Image Credit: someecards.com

I really try to minimize the effect outside influences have on my mood, but sometimes things just get to me. I feel guilty when I let things bother me that I know I should just let roll because I am fully aware of how blessed I am. There are a lot of really great people in my life, the best family ever, a good job, shelter, transportation, food, the cutest dog in the whole wide world.... I know I have so much to be thankful for that really, I shouldn't sweat the small stuff. But sometimes there's one teensy little thing that sneaks in and flips the switch. Then I have to make a mighty effort to stop the bad mood from taking over. Because a bad mood will spread like wildfire. I would much rather be responsible for spreading laughter than a pissy-pants attitude. But it takes work, y'all... So I'm gonna just chill with my pup, have a bottle of wine, and think happy thoughts.

XOXO

~M

Julie Andrews vs. The Southern Star

Hello, my name is Melissa and I’m an introvert.  I know.  You’re totally surprised, aren't you?   

I’m probably a little (read: a lot) less social than the regular introvert because I am slightly (read: extremely) cray cray.  For all you extroverts: it’s not a bad thing, I promise.  When I have time that is mine (i.e. no plans, no bosses, no customers, no one else determines how it’s spent except me) and I choose to be alone it’s because being by myself is refreshing. 

image credit: someecards.com

For me, alone time is like the opening scene of The Sound of Music.  I’m Maria spinning on a mountain top with my lungs full of fresh air and lots of happy in my spirit.  I feel free and at peace.  There’s no pressure to perform…  I don’t have to carry on a conversation…  I don’t have to impress anyone with my great wit… No expectations…   I know you don’t actually have any great expectations of time with me, but there’s still an internal need to be what I think others expect. 

image credit: amazon.com

Social experiences are like that ship ride at Carowinds that flips upside down.  (For those who didn't grow up in NC going to Carowinds your whole life, here's a description from carowinds.com: Southern Star-A giant looping Viking ship that swings backward and forward, then turns a series of two complete loops, suspending riders upside down 80 feet in the air. Riders experience sudden speed changes and controlled freefall as the ship swings through its 360-degree cycle).  Yep, it’s like that.  I simultaneously feel exhilarated and queasy.  At first it’s cool, just swinging back and forth. Weeeeeee, this is fun!  Then it goes higher and starts hanging in the air, and it’s kind of awkward.  When it’s all said and done, it was a great experience, super fun, and I’m really glad I did it.  But I get off the ride and my knees are wobbly, I totally feel like I might hurl, and I’m going to need a while to recover before I can go on the next ride.

image credit: carowinds.com

So, my loves, I truly enjoy your company and adore the time we spend together, but I require a little more recovery time than the average bear.  I am really grateful for those who are incredibly patient with my quirks and allow me the hermit time I need.  And for that allowance, I promise to be extra charming and witty when I grace you with my presence.      

XOXO

~M

image credit: hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

hazy limits

I think I'm supposed to be upset by things that are “sexist.” Maybe it's because I don't get offended easily or maybe it's my perverse sense of humor or maybe it's just because I tend to be slightly disconnected from reality, but I usually don't get upset by things like a song. I don't get all the hoopla about "the song of the summer."  I watched a feminist parody of "Blurred Lines" (which I also found really funny) and realized that there are probably a lot of women who are for real offended by that song.  And it makes me lol.  (btw...I don't understand what people think is so misogynistic about the song. I’ve listened to it, read the lyrics, and watched the video; if anything, it’s a celebration of women…)  The rap & hippity-hop I like best tend to be the songs that are the most degrading and contain the most cursing because they are so ridiculous that I find it quite hilarious.

Regarding REAL issues of chauvinism/sexism/misogyny/etc., of course I don't think it is okay for women to be harassed or degraded (it's also not okay for men to be harassed or degraded). I don't think women should make less money for equal work and I don't think one gender is better than the other. I think as humans we all have something unique to offer in the game of life.  In general, men and women have different strengths that can complement each other nicely.

My views on being a woman, what I am capable of, and equality did not come from any form of entertainment. My values were taught by my parents and other family members. Those lessons were taught primarily by example, but also by the fact that when I was young and impressionable my entertainment, friends, and activities were all very closely monitored. I know now that parents can't be everywhere and see everything, but when I was growing up it sure felt like they could! As an adult, I know my value as a person because I was loved and that value is in no way diminished by any song, movie, book, or television show.

So I choose to be ENTERTAINED, not offended. If it has a good beat, I dance. If it has absurd dialogue, I laugh. If there's something I don't like, guess what I do...I turn it off. Don't expect pop stars and athletes to provide role models for your children; they exist for entertainment, not child-rearing. That's your job.  Be aware and involved and occasionally say "no." And if you are a grown-ass woman that is truly bothered by words of a song, do a little soul searching or see a therapist...do whatever it takes for you to learn your own worth and quit letting others determine it for you. I'm not going to let lyrics to a song or jokes have power over me. Just chill, people. Because I'm tired of dodging the piles of poop from your high horse. Stop judging and start laughing.

XOXO
~M

Photo credit: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/dance-quote

Hangin' Tough

Okay, I promise this will be the last of this particular pity party...

I'm super sad I didn't go to the NKOTB concert tonight or a few days ago when they were in Nashville. Now that I know the great depths of my sadness, I will remember next time that these concert tickets must be a priority above all else. I eventually convinced myself it wouldn't be professional, but I did consider wearing my awesome hot pink, glow in the dark NKOTB earrings to work today... Or my "Click, Click, Click" t-shirt or my "Property of Joey McIntyre" t-shirt or my original 90's watch. I wonder if I still have my pillowcase? Yep, in my thirties & still crazy over a boy band. What can I say, those boys just have The Right Stuff :) #nkotb4ever

XOXO

~M

Social Media Sadness

The level of my self-esteem is directly proportional to the number of "likes" on a Facebook post. And lately it's been plunging. I'm not sure what's going on with you people... Maybe you aren't on Facebook as often, maybe touching that little thumbs up is just too much effort, maybe I'm not showing up in your news feed on your mobile device. I don't know what it is, but y'all need to remedy this situation like now. Because I'm still just as incredibly witty and amusing as always and you meanies are withholding your "likes" and crushing my self-worth. I'm beginning to doubt my hilarity, my ability to choose interesting things to repost or share, and my overall likability. And it's all your fault. If you're worried that "liking" all my posts will make me realize you are Facebook stalking me, don't-I'm totally fine with it. I'm mean, surely SOMEONE is Facebook stalking me, right. I don't consider myself a social media whore by any means, my posts are not all that frequent (in my opinion) so come on, throw me a bone. Now since my FB popularity seems to have decreased I'm starting to obsess over my lack of Twitter followers. I don't really tweet much, I mostly use it for celebrity stalking and quips with friends that aren't quite FB appropriate, but I'm trying to use it a bit more. And by golly, all you non-followers are totes gonna miss out on all my super interesting musings. So basically what I'm saying here is: if you tweet, you can follow me @MFer205 or just make a point to "like" something, ANYTHING I post on the old FB wall occasionally so I'll still feel relevant. K, thanks!

XOXO

~Mellie (just trying it on to see how it fits)

Image: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ANot_facebook_not_like_thumbs_down.png

A Girl & Her Dog

Once upon a time in a land not very far away there was a very small fur ball without a home. His sister's new family was going to foster him but he never even made it to their house before his sweet little face thawed out a spot in my icy, grinchy heart. I said he could spend one night "just to see how it goes." Who did I think I was kidding? That little mutt had found his home.

As a young pup he was quite independent and not much of a snuggler, much to my dismay. I had one small window each day...when I would get home from work he would want to be held like a baby for a few minutes, only while standing though. As soon as I would try to sit, mommy snuggles were over. I would come home and pick up my 40 pound puppy and just stand in the doorway with his head on my shoulder for as long as I could. 

I always knew when he didn't feel good (like the time he ate an entire Easter basket of candy including chocolate & foil wrappers or the time he ate a small snake which he regurgitated on me) because he would actually be lovey and cuddly instead of sassy and playful. 

As he's grown older he has decided that he does like snuggles after all and now quite often sees no need in personal space. So while puppy snuggles are the best part of my day, when he uses me as furniture and digs a doggy elbow in my ribs it's not really super pleasant. He has destroyed more shoes than some people have ever owned, multiple purses & belts, fences, and doors. He is an accomplished escape artist and when all else fails does not hesitate to resort to brute strength and sheer determination. He is utterly exasperating. 

Image Credit: www.etsy.com/CountryWorkshop

He has also been with me through 2 states, 5 moves, countless bouts of depression, my "coming home" adjustment finding my place in my family again, many thoughtful romps in the woods, and lots of good times full of laughter too. He is ridiculously protective and never lets me cry alone. He is entertaining, goofy, and adoring. He cracks me up every day. His doggy smile and wagging tail are the best greeting. I'm sure many people think I'm crazy because I call myself a "dog mom" and post a gajillion pictures of my Zeusy-fruit and have corny nicknames for my dog like Zeusy-fruit, but I don't even care. Haters gonna hate.  I'm really happy to be a dog mom and I can't even imagine what a miserable person I might be without my Zeusykins. 

XOXO

~M

Only Old People Use Facebook

I recently saw an article somewhere (I'm sure it was one of the very hard-hitting news sources I read like Huffington Post or E! News or Twitter) about the decline of social media use by teens. I've actually noticed this trend myself...not really so much with teens, considering I'm 33 and don't really hang out with many teenagers these days... But I have noticed it with the early to mid twenties crowd that are my "Facebook friends." I really do have a legit reason to be FB friends with people in their early twenties, just like I had a legit reason to watch Teletubbies & Lambchop when I was in high school. My sister is 10 years younger so she is my connection to all things hip and cool and funky fresh as I gracefully age. As I have met and friend requested more of her peeps over the past few years, I see very little activity from them in comparison to folks my age and older. I just find that generation gap really puzzling because what else are younger people doing staring at their phones all the time if they aren't on Facebook?! According to this in-depth scientific study, kids these days are more into Tumblr, Keek, Snap Chat and mediums of social media that are more of messaging services. Sometimes I consider branching out & exploring this new form of social media... I've downloaded Tumblr but I don't really quite understand how it works or what it's purpose is. I've seen all the Kardashians posting on Instagram to follow them on Keek. I'm sorry, but I'm not downloading something called Keek. That's just a dumb name. Also I don't understand it's purpose either. And Snap Chat... What does that even mean?! I think I might be getting old. But I guess that's fitting since only us old folks seem to be regularly using those archaic social media sites & apps like Facebook & Twitter. I wonder what is more appealing to younger generations about these messaging apps? What's wrong with just regular ole text messaging or picture messaging? I mean you've already got standard capability to SMS, MMS, iMessage, or if you're still super old school with a Blackberry & actually know someone else with a Blackberry too, BBM. Whatevs, guess I'll just continue being uncool and keep my Facebook stalking to people in my generation. But just know that when the "in" thing is talking on the phone again instead of messaging, count me out! I don't want talk with my voice. I will only talk by tapping an occasional message on my touch screen which you will receive in one of four places: messages, Facebook, Twitter, or if you're really lucky, email. And GET OFF MY LAWN! I'm really great at being a grumpy old person.

XOXO
~M

Things I Learned (and known facts reiterated) On Vacation

1. I have amazing friends.
2. Jeff & Cliff are truly gracious hosts.
3. I hate being away from my doggy.
4. The monuments and memorials in D.C. are really incredible.
5. Washington D.C. was supposed to be 10X10 square miles taking some of Maryland & some of Virginia along the Potomac River but Virginia petitioned to get the port of Alexandria back because of it's importance in Virginia's slave trade.
6. The Library of Congress is fascinating.
7. Democracy in a large group is inefficient.
8. There is certainly something to be said for southern hospitality. Maryland may not technically be a northern state but they sure do tend to act like it.
9. Public and mass transportation are good in theory but I really like having a car. And driving.
10. When a group gets larger than about 6 people I'm no longer little miss sunshine.
11. There is a slight variation in color of the marble & other stone used for the Washington Monument due to a halt in construction for various reasons.
12. I think there should be a reality show competition of my friends trying to out hospitalitize (yes, I just made up that word) each other. It would be hilarious.
13. Being in our nation's capital is a sincerely moving experience. As a country, we keep making the same mistakes over and over. Even so, I am a proud American and continue to have hope that we will eventually learn a few lessons and make some changes.
14. Apparently my legs won't actually fall off even if I walk 38,000 miles in a day.
15. I love to travel and I really love to come home.

XOXO
~M

Gotta get down on Friday

This sunshine after what seemed like endless rain is giving me a bad case of faux spring fever. Mix in the fact that it's Friday... That equals me having a very difficult time focusing at work. I want to play! Just a few more hours and I'll be free for some girl talk, sun, Bud Light, football watching, and Behold the Brave in Atlanta this weekend! I can almost breathe again. Happy weekend to all!

XOXO
~M

the circle of life

The Foster pack is sadly less one member today. Our Daisy has gone to heaven where there are no dogs or other cats to bother her, only humans to comply with her petting and snuggling demands and offer lots of toes for biting. That cat was a bigger diva than Mariah Carey and Beyoncé combined. And she was beautiful, loving, and full of personality. I will certainly miss her insistent meow which I usually understood to mean something along the lines of "human, open that door," "human, do not pick me up," "human, it is not my decision to go outside at this time, therefore I will not," "human, why did you not anticipate my desire to open the door, I am still waiting..." etc. She was a great cuddle buddy; when I lived with Mom & Dad there were many times Daisy was supposed to be outside but I would sneak her in to snuggle for the night...and I'm not even a cat person. Bailey said we had Daisy for seventeen years which would mean that Bailey was only 5 when Daisy joined the fam. They basically grew up together. That scraggly, dirty kitten turned out to be one of the most beautiful cats ever. She was the last of the family pets from childhood. Daisy was a good kitty and we are going to miss her.

XOXO

~M

I forgot to take a picture of my lunch...

It was delicious. And I don't care if you think it's dumb for people to post pics of their food. If you find it that annoying, just don't follow me on Instagram or Twitter and unfriend me on Facebook. I'm totally cool with that. Granted, some people go a little crazy with it and photograph every morsel they eat. That is annoying so I don't follow those people. But hey, who am I to judge? I'm a crazy dog mom, aunt, sister, adoptive aunt to friends' dogs, etc. And my posts are FULL of doggy shenanigans. I'm okay with that and if you don't like it, I'm okay with that too. Basically, I love the people in my life, the animals in my life, the places I spend my time, and random stuff I see. And I'm gonna take pictures of it. I freaking love Instagram. I'm not a professional photographer or a hipster & I'm not trying to be. I just like to take pictures of stuff and share them and really enjoy looking at other people's pictures too. It's fun to be able to share your life via pictures and the people that don't want to see ain't gotta look. So I say snap away Instagramers and post to your little shutterbug heart's content!

XOXO
~M

Everyone's a writer

I've been thinking about the culture of blogging plus reading some not so stellar ebooks on the Kindle and have come to the conclusion that many folks fancy themselves writers these days.

Blogging is a really cool concept and the content is amazingly varied. There is no prerequisite for starting a blog. If you can figure out how to create an account and choose your template, voila... you are a blogger. It doesn't even matter whether or not you actually have something to say. It's cool though, I'm glad everyone has the opportunity for this outlet. I'm all for anything that encourages creativity and possibly even promotes literacy. I just think some "bloggers" (it's in quotation marks because there are people who blog and then there are "bloggers") who take it all a little too seriously.

Moving on to the great literary works that wind up in my Kindle library... I download lots of the free books which is probably my first mistake (although many of the classics which actually ARE great pieces of literature are free ebooks). But I'm really kind of an indiscriminate reader. I read because it is the most effective escape, not because I'm trying to learn something new or enhance my ability to participate in heated literary discussions of the greatest books of all time. Reading for me is a bit like having a television or radio on for background noise is for other people; it rescues me from my own thoughts. Many people don't like silence, I enjoy the silence but I still like to block out the thinking sometimes. Since I'm not exactly particular about what I read, I end up reading a whole lot of crap. I honestly just don't understand how so many books get published with a ridiculous amount of simple proofreading errors, typos, unintentional atrocious grammar, etc. I don't know if it's just the electronic versions are poorly translated or if it's an utter lack of quality control in attempt to find the next best seller that will become a box office money-maker. I don't write error-free or with perfect grammar. I'm a comma whore (who am I kidding, just a punctuation whore in general... exclamation points, anyone?!) and I'll have run-on sentence that could last for days, but it's not my job to write, proofread, edit, or publish! It's kind of like when a professional athlete messes up and I'm screaming "it's your JOB to catch the ball!!" But as frustrating as it can be, I'm sure I'll continue to read poorly written and edited drivel just as millions will continue to watch pro athletes miss touchdowns and free throws.

XOXO
~M

so fresh & so clean

The first day of the new year is almost officially over. Last night at mom & dad's was super fun with lots of laughing, dancing, singing, hugging, and toasting. Today I slept late (but considering I didn't go to sleep until after 5 a.m., not really), had breakfast casserole that Ruthie in her infinite wisdom made yesterday, my sister brought me a cup of coffee, I cuddled with some puppies & a kitty, laughed with friends & family, I went to work for a few hours & chatted with some of my work buddies, we got slammed with a bit of an outage, then I got to come home to my Zeusy-face. If the past 24 hours is indicative of what 2013 has in store, then I expect it will be a wonderful year!

XOXO
~M

So the world didn't end...

Image Credit: someecards.com

As 2012 comes to a close, I realized it's been a pretty blah year for me. A few days ago Mom had us all do best and worst for the year and everything I thought of happened in 2011 or 2010. Don't get me wrong, I've had some really good times throughout the year. I had a couple awesome visits to Atlanta and spent lots of QT with the fam here. There just weren't really any stand-out major highs or lows. 2012 has been a fairly uneventful year in my world. I don't do new year's resolutions because I know I totally lack the self-discipline to follow through and it's better to just save the disappointment in myself for a worthier failure... So this isn't a resolution, but more of a hope that 2013 is a little more exciting.

XOXO
~M

I started a poem in my dream last night

I come up with the most genius ideas as I'm falling asleep (or in my sleep) and can never remember them when I wake up.  But I know it was there, floating in my brain.  And I know it was awesome.  Don't you hate it when that happens?  A million years ago when I was in school I always did my best work late at night.  Or maybe that was just the result of chronic procrastination I'm remembering.  That lingering feeling that I had a really good idea for a poem is pretty much what got me thinking that a blog might be a good idea.  I don't really have much to say that is incredibly interesting but it could be a good brain exercise in creativity.  And Lord knows I need to exercise something so I guess the brain is as good a place as any to start!    I used to keep a journal by my bed with the intention of being able to easily jot down these brilliant ideas but it still never happened.  I like to write in my journal although it is a bit strange to write by hand instead of typing these days.  There is just something cathartic about putting pen to paper rather than the usual fingers to keyboard.  Unfortunately my journal fell behind my couch a couple weeks ago and I've been too lazy to rescue it.  Maybe that was another catalyst for the blog?  

Well anyway, since I'm new to the blogging world and don't really have a particular direction or passionate interest about which I am inspired to write, coming up with a blog title and blog address was quite the undertaking.  It made me ask myself, “What is intriguing about me?”  Being my own worst critic, I found it difficult to come up with answers.   I considered blogging about pet stuff but I’m not really any kind of expert.  I’m just a bad owner whose dog runs the show so I can’t really give advice on that subject.  I’m a fantastic bargain shopper and pretty good at styling myself and my friends, but I would probably lose interest in writing about that.  I love to read but wasn’t really focused enough while I was trying to find information on blogging about book reviews.  So, that just leaves us with the randomness of my life and personality!  If you are reading this, you're probably thinking “hmmm, let’s see if M (or Foster or Melisser or MiMi or whichever of the other MANY nicknames that y’all call me) has anything funny to say…”  I don’t promise to be especially humorous or captivating but don’t worry; I tend to not follow through on much so this blogging phase isn’t likely to last.  For the time being, I find myself quite amusing and really, isn’t that what matters?

XOXO

~M