Bitch Switch

Image Credit: someecards.com

I really try to minimize the effect outside influences have on my mood, but sometimes things just get to me. I feel guilty when I let things bother me that I know I should just let roll because I am fully aware of how blessed I am. There are a lot of really great people in my life, the best family ever, a good job, shelter, transportation, food, the cutest dog in the whole wide world.... I know I have so much to be thankful for that really, I shouldn't sweat the small stuff. But sometimes there's one teensy little thing that sneaks in and flips the switch. Then I have to make a mighty effort to stop the bad mood from taking over. Because a bad mood will spread like wildfire. I would much rather be responsible for spreading laughter than a pissy-pants attitude. But it takes work, y'all... So I'm gonna just chill with my pup, have a bottle of wine, and think happy thoughts.

XOXO

~M

Julie Andrews vs. The Southern Star

Hello, my name is Melissa and I’m an introvert.  I know.  You’re totally surprised, aren't you?   

I’m probably a little (read: a lot) less social than the regular introvert because I am slightly (read: extremely) cray cray.  For all you extroverts: it’s not a bad thing, I promise.  When I have time that is mine (i.e. no plans, no bosses, no customers, no one else determines how it’s spent except me) and I choose to be alone it’s because being by myself is refreshing. 

image credit: someecards.com

For me, alone time is like the opening scene of The Sound of Music.  I’m Maria spinning on a mountain top with my lungs full of fresh air and lots of happy in my spirit.  I feel free and at peace.  There’s no pressure to perform…  I don’t have to carry on a conversation…  I don’t have to impress anyone with my great wit… No expectations…   I know you don’t actually have any great expectations of time with me, but there’s still an internal need to be what I think others expect. 

image credit: amazon.com

Social experiences are like that ship ride at Carowinds that flips upside down.  (For those who didn't grow up in NC going to Carowinds your whole life, here's a description from carowinds.com: Southern Star-A giant looping Viking ship that swings backward and forward, then turns a series of two complete loops, suspending riders upside down 80 feet in the air. Riders experience sudden speed changes and controlled freefall as the ship swings through its 360-degree cycle).  Yep, it’s like that.  I simultaneously feel exhilarated and queasy.  At first it’s cool, just swinging back and forth. Weeeeeee, this is fun!  Then it goes higher and starts hanging in the air, and it’s kind of awkward.  When it’s all said and done, it was a great experience, super fun, and I’m really glad I did it.  But I get off the ride and my knees are wobbly, I totally feel like I might hurl, and I’m going to need a while to recover before I can go on the next ride.

image credit: carowinds.com

So, my loves, I truly enjoy your company and adore the time we spend together, but I require a little more recovery time than the average bear.  I am really grateful for those who are incredibly patient with my quirks and allow me the hermit time I need.  And for that allowance, I promise to be extra charming and witty when I grace you with my presence.      

XOXO

~M

image credit: hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

hazy limits

I think I'm supposed to be upset by things that are “sexist.” Maybe it's because I don't get offended easily or maybe it's my perverse sense of humor or maybe it's just because I tend to be slightly disconnected from reality, but I usually don't get upset by things like a song. I don't get all the hoopla about "the song of the summer."  I watched a feminist parody of "Blurred Lines" (which I also found really funny) and realized that there are probably a lot of women who are for real offended by that song.  And it makes me lol.  (btw...I don't understand what people think is so misogynistic about the song. I’ve listened to it, read the lyrics, and watched the video; if anything, it’s a celebration of women…)  The rap & hippity-hop I like best tend to be the songs that are the most degrading and contain the most cursing because they are so ridiculous that I find it quite hilarious.

Regarding REAL issues of chauvinism/sexism/misogyny/etc., of course I don't think it is okay for women to be harassed or degraded (it's also not okay for men to be harassed or degraded). I don't think women should make less money for equal work and I don't think one gender is better than the other. I think as humans we all have something unique to offer in the game of life.  In general, men and women have different strengths that can complement each other nicely.

My views on being a woman, what I am capable of, and equality did not come from any form of entertainment. My values were taught by my parents and other family members. Those lessons were taught primarily by example, but also by the fact that when I was young and impressionable my entertainment, friends, and activities were all very closely monitored. I know now that parents can't be everywhere and see everything, but when I was growing up it sure felt like they could! As an adult, I know my value as a person because I was loved and that value is in no way diminished by any song, movie, book, or television show.

So I choose to be ENTERTAINED, not offended. If it has a good beat, I dance. If it has absurd dialogue, I laugh. If there's something I don't like, guess what I do...I turn it off. Don't expect pop stars and athletes to provide role models for your children; they exist for entertainment, not child-rearing. That's your job.  Be aware and involved and occasionally say "no." And if you are a grown-ass woman that is truly bothered by words of a song, do a little soul searching or see a therapist...do whatever it takes for you to learn your own worth and quit letting others determine it for you. I'm not going to let lyrics to a song or jokes have power over me. Just chill, people. Because I'm tired of dodging the piles of poop from your high horse. Stop judging and start laughing.

XOXO
~M

Photo credit: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/dance-quote